One Word

If I could only sing one word for the rest of my life, what would it be?

"Alleluia."

Just try it. Say it out loud. Sing it high, sing it low! 

Savor the vowels, the flow of the syllables, the upward-feeling release.

I spent at least twenty solid minutes today singing that word (on notes penned by the great J. S. Bach), and had plenty of time to think about its merit while our conductor was busy seeing to the tenors. 

"Alleluia."

Whisper it. It even sounds wonderful as a secret! 

I also happen to adore the meaning of the word. It's an exclamation, a joyous rousing cry that means "God be praised!" 

I love that we say this word on the daily. We hear this word on the ever-present TV, in movies, and on the radio. We use it flippantly and jokingly... but we still use it!

Sitting in rehearsal today, I decided that if I were a composer, I would compose a whole set of songs using just this word.

I am apparently not the only one who has had this idea! Here are a couple of wonderfully beautiful pieces that use this word as their only text:

Eric Whitacre's Alleluia-- (a vocal arrangement of my favorite of his works, "October")

REALLY check this one out:  A fabulous recording of one of my personal favorite choral works!
Baylor Bella Voce - Alleluia (from Songs of Faith) - Paul Basler

Feel free to sing along. I'm sure you'll be able to by the end!

"Alleluia!"

Such a lovely word. 

What is your favorite word to say? 

Reflection on a Recital

Last weekend I crossed a huge item off of my college bucket list: giving a collegiate-level recital!

My degree doesn't require that I give a recital, and most of my colleagues choose not to. I completely understand why-- it's a LOT of work! Yet, I am so unbelievably happy by the outcome of this huge undertaking.

I am proud of myself for taking a challenge in life set by me alone. I am proud that the most difficult and fulfilling work I will have done this year didn't stem from a degree plan or an advisor's deadline. I am so thankful that I will be able to look back on this wonderful experience and know that I did this for my own fulfillment, and not because I sought to achieve a perfect grade. In fact, no one was grading me at all.

For someone obsessively driven by the pull of academic success, it was completely liberating.

I provided a program of music that was intentionally full of variety, and every piece is a personal favorite of mine. In short, after the countless hours spent in the practice room and the lesson studio, I poured my heart and soul into this music.

After a few days of basking in the emotional high of an amazing performance, I paused to reflect on this milestone experience.

A few snippets of thought:

How it felt to look out at the audience before me and realize that they were not judging strangers-- they were faces of my dearest friends and family. My most loving and enthusiastic supporters.

Secretly performing a work in honor of a dear friend and teacher who recently passed away-- sending the sound straight up to her heavenly dwelling.

The electrified silence as the music of the great composers provided precious bits of musical rest, and the audience held their breath.

Surprise at the effort it takes to shift emotions drastically back and forth over the course of a single hour.

Hearing from listeners that my music touched their hearts, brought them to tears, or gave them inspiration-- feeling a strong connection to my purpose in life.

The sheer joy of finally having a voice to sing with after weeks of illness.

How surprising the little never-before-heard mistakes and mishaps that make a live performance truly "alive."

The music of my own two hands bringing tears to my eyes.

It is my sincerest hope that those in attendance (and you, should you choose to watch the video below) felt the music as deeply as I attempted to convey it.

PROGRAM:

Prelude and Fugue XVI in G Minor, BWV 861----------------J. S. Bach

Wie Melodien zieht es mir---------------------------------------Johannes Brahms

Lorelei------------------------------------------------------------Clara Schumann 

Intermezzo in A Major Op. 118 No. 2-------------------------Johannes Brahms

**********

Haï Luli -----------------------------------------------------------Pauline Viardot 

Clair de Lune-----------------------------------------------------Gabriel Fauré

Nocturne in Bb Minor, Op. 9 No. 1----------------------------Frederic Chopin

**********

The Little Horses ------------------------------------------------Aaron Copland

Love’s Philosophy-----------------------------------------------Roger Quilter

Sonata No. 8 in C Minor, Opus 13 “Pathetique” (1797)

I. Grave- Allegro molto e con brio-----------------------Ludwig van Beethoven

Concertino--------------------------------------------------------Cecile Chaminade

Thank you all for sharing in this mountaintop of a musical experience.

"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.” ― Aldous Huxley

Time for a Break

Spring break has come and gone, and with it a score of beautiful moments.

One of my favorite things about life in general is getting to visit my Granny and her land in Bowie, TX. I try to visit several times a year. Being out there makes me feel whole again. As my best friend Bethany once told me, "time just moves slower out there."

Out on Granny's farm, there are no noisy neighbors. There are no buses, cars, and definitely no Harleys.

Instead, there are bird songs, the rush of wind in ancient oak branches, gently rattling leaves, and the faint bell tones of wind chimes.

Out there in the middle of nowhere, I can finally rest-- in the truest way possible. I get my very best sleep out there in that country home. And, it doesn't hurt that my Granny is the best cook on the planet. Oren came with me this trip, and I can assure you: we were VERY well fed.

One of my favorite things about being out at Granny's is getting to wander around her land on foot. I call it hiking... more adventurous souls would consider it walking. The land is a bit flat at times. But I think it's the most beautiful spot of land in the world.

This time, when Oren and I went walking, we took a long way round the oil pads and happened upon a miracle.

Backstory:
Bethany and I used to wander the pastures for hours, all the time. We found a tree that was simply the most beautiful tree on the whole place, and we named her Old Anna. Our plan was to build a tree house in her lower branches... but we sadly never got there. When the oil company moved in and carved out their slabs of gravel, we believed Old Anna to be lost. We never found her again.

Anyway. Oren and I took a back way around the pasture, and happened on a path that hadn't been driven on in quite some time. The truck tracks were faint, and the bushes and trees had encroached a bit on the pathway. Animal tracks abounded.

Yet, I knew this path like the back of my hand. This sandy road came straight from Old Anna! My heart remembered it so strongly.

I broke into a run, speeding up to the place where I knew in my heart she should stand.

And, there she was.

An ancient old oak tree, standing tall and proud in a clearing, away from all other trees. Surrounded by currently-fried monkey grass fronds, standing almost like subjects before their queen.

My excitement was uncontrollable! I of course had Oren take a million pictures of me with Old Anna that I could show to Bethany later that day, and I lived the joy of our discovery all week.

There's just something wonderful about old, huge trees.

Something special happens when you recover an old friend that you believed to be lost.

Trees are sanctuaries. Whoever knows how to speak to them, whoever knows how to listen to them, can learn the truth. They do not preach learning and precepts, they preach, undeterred by particulars, the ancient law of life. - Hermann Hesse 

Dorky Mandi with Old Anna

Life, Lent, and the Pursuit of Holiness

Lent is fast approaching, and yet again I am assaulted with the pressing question: "What are you giving up this year?"

Pause and rewind here. What is Lent, you ask?

 In many Protestant Christian denominations, Lent is celebrated as a 40-day period of fasting between Ash Wednesday and Easter. It's a season that helps us reconnect spiritually in preparation for the celebration of Easter, through giving our time to a cause, going without specific foods in a literal fast, or simply devoting ourselves to a spiritual discipline. If you'd like to know more about Lent as celebrated in various churches, go ahead and google it! There's plenty of interesting information out there.

Lent is a tradition that for me goes far back into my childhood!

My mother and granny always gave up sweets/chocolate, with the exception of birthday cake (of course!). I always remember competing with my best friend Bethany to see who was giving up the "biggest" thing-- she normally always won.

Disclaimer: Lent is a personal discipline that is not meant to be a competition!
Tell that to a seven-year-old...

Young Mandi always chose to give up Dr. Pepper. Older Mandi consistently gave up Facebook each year. First year college student Mandi decided to give up all beef for Lent (which ended VERY badly, as beef is my all-time favorite food. Let's just say, I was turned into a consistently angry monster by Easter).

The Top 100 Things Twitterers gave up for Lent in 2009

This year, I am looking at Lent with new eyes. Recently I have been very into the idea of honoring tradition and ritual in my everyday life as part of pursuing joyful living. I have realized slowly but surely that I long to live a life steeped in things that are sacred.

Especially in a culture where little to nothing is kept holy-- not our forests, our families, our vows, our beliefs, our creativity, our art, our own souls-- my heart yearns for a life of reverence for all things beautiful, living, and holy.

This Lenten season, I have decided to not "give up" anything in particular. Instead, I have made the decision to enhance a sense of holiness in my life. I have a few ideas for what this might mean for me:

• A dedicated and renewed effort to have personal quiet time in the morning for meditation, journaling, reflection, study, and prayer. (This requires actually getting out of bed instead of hitting the snooze...)

• Creating more of a respectful and ritual-based relationship with the physical symbols of holiness in my life. For me, this might mean ritually washing my hands before opening my Bible, creating a special altar or resting place for the scriptures, or designating a prayer corner.

• A new dedication to living life with intention, being present and engaged in each moment.

Lent is a wonderful time for me to realize what my soul needs spiritually; recognizing that need and fulfilling it through dedicated choices is part of my journey toward being the keeper of my own flame.

I hope all of you have a fulfilling and meaningful Lenten season, whether you chose to celebrate it or not!

“To the poet, to the philosopher, to the saint, all things are friendly and sacred, all events profitable, all days holy, all men divine.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

21... But considering 12

Happy Birthday to me!!

Birthday celebrations have finally all wrapped up, and I am officially legal!

I have celebrated with my closest friends at a beautiful restaurant, with a classy martini at a fancy restaurant with my love, with a margarita on the San Antonio Riverwalk, and with another margarita at our favorite Mexican food restaurant in the entire world with my closest family. All of these events on separate days, of course!

I have had a fabulous time celebrating this big milestone, and I am so thankful for all the loving smiles and wishes I received.

In the back of my head, though, was a distinct longing for earlier times. I felt a pretty healthy dose of nostalgia for so many things from my childhood, and this post is a direct result.

This is a list of things that were AWESOME about our childhood, and that I personally wish had grown up with us. Things that I wish still existed for us in grown-up form.

Sympathize and commiserate with me as I mourn the loss of the good ole' days.

As I turn 21, consider the most awesome things about being 12! 

• Scholastic Book Fairs

Yes, I have always been a reader. I am a lifetime lover of books and literature of all types. 

However, as much as I loved school back then, there was no school day I looked forward to more than the Scholastic Book Fair day... or even the day we were due to receive the catalog! We CANNOT forget
about those catalogs. Those flimsy newspaper-style golden gems were packed with treasure. 

I recently saw a book fair set up in my church's preschool, and was immediately taken back to the excitement of the entire affair. How fantastic it is to order and receive books in your hands every couple of months! There is no greater joy!

I told Oren that I wish we still had Scholastic Book Fairs, and he lovingly replied: "We still do, Mandi. It's called Barnes and Noble..." Needless to say, I did not share his sentiment.

• American Girl Magazine

What a beautiful publication for young girls everywhere! The other day, I sat in my friend Allee's living room and perused the American Girl issue that had come that morning for her 11-yr-old sister. That magazine just makes people happy! Plain and simple, we were reading such QUALITY material.

Questioning my judgement? Think about it. Where else can young girls read about life skills, emotional growth, artistic creativity, and physical and mental health, in a format so colorful and engaging that they just eat it up? Besides, this is also an important venue for young girls to create and submit their own ideas, artwork, stories, and crafts. 

Today, I long for a grown-up girl version of American Girl. I'm sorry, but Cosmo and Seventeen just don't cut it for me. Where is OUR wholesome and creatively addictive monthly publication??

• Massive sleepovers

Those were the days.... or rather, the nights! When 15 of your closest friends got together for a night of caffeine, sugar, Disney movies, laughter, and the occasional fighting and crying spell. 

Remember the HUGE games of sardines, hide-and-go-seek, and neighborhood-wide scavenger hunts in the dark? Remember those wonderful mothers that provided a smorgasbord of delicious snacks to fuel late-night cravings during intense games of truth-or-dare? 

[Side note: if you'd like to know about the most commonly-asked-for dare that I completed time and time again... that's a story for another time!] 

The best thing about these events was their very frequent occurrence. Each of your friends of COURSE has a birthday, and you could assume there would be yet another sleepover with yet again the same group! This meant that being 12, you basically experienced one very long sleepover that lasted through the entire school year. SCORE.

• Trips to theme parks

When you're not spending your weekend at somebody's sleepover, you can bet you'll be attending a party at a local theme park! 

A myriad of reasons abound for hitting up the local Six Flags or water park: church trip, band trip, choir trip, GT trip, grade-wide field trip.... the list goes on and on. As us kids grew old enough (read: tall enough) to participate in such revelry, teachers and mentors alike dumped us all off for a day of low-maintenance fun. 

The best part for us: rollercoasters were still new, exciting novelties. We were still entranced by the dare to lift our hands off of the restraint bar. We hadn't yet discovered that theme parks were usually hot (in Texas), dirty, crowded, and dreadfully expensive. 

Theme parks were our heaven!

• Kids' Menu

Does this really require explanation? Most things (including the kids' menu) state that annoying maxim "age 12 and under." If you're still 12, you can still order small, cheap dinners. And, better yet, you can still color with crayons on the puzzles side of the kids' menu.

You can't tell me you didn't still ask for a kids' menu (even after you were too old) just so you could color. Yeah, I know. I did it too. Wasn't it great when we weren't yet impostors? 

Where is the entertaining puzzle sheet for 21 year old girls? And where are the accompanying purple crayons??

• Imagination

Most of all, I mourn the loss of my imagination. 

At age 12, we still occasionally played with stuffed animals and our old dolls. We still imagined epic battles with our figurines and we still remembered our sensational adventures of the past. Our old toys were just becoming "old," but hadn't yet lost their dire importance. We still clung fiercely to our childhood. We hadn't yet decided that we had "grown up."

I love observing my choir kids playing freely before rehearsal, because I love how readily they create ideas out of nowhere. I love watching them assign roles to each other-- they can create a new world in under three minutes. 

Don't you wish you were still there? Still able to occupy yourself for hours with only a friend and a couple stuffed animals for entertainment? I know I do. Those were the days.

So, I am now a legal adult. I am now able to order alcohol, vote, buy a lottery ticket, etc. etc. etc. Yet, I hold tightly to my memories of my childhood, and the fantastic life we all led back then. 

Take a moment with me and remember just a couple things that bring you joy from your time as a child. Take a moment with me, and smile!

“Everything is ceremony in the wild garden of childhood.” ― Pablo Neruda

Fear and Love

Right now, on this Friday night, I am doing what any other college girl with no plans and an absent roommate would be doing.

I am singing my heart out to the Frozen soundtrack, of course!!!

As I enjoy the vast riches of the Deluxe Edition of the soundtrack on Spotify, I think back and ponder the finer points of this film.

Above all, I feel a complete overwhelming awe for how GREAT this movie is. In seemingly every way. My question for tonight:

What REALLY makes Frozen so fantastic?

In my pondering, I'll discuss a few points that I find personally moving.

1. The Music

Can we just say a big "duh" here? Yes, yes, I know. The music is so good that the songs are stuck in all of our heads from dawn till dusk. It's so good that beginning today, movie theaters nationwide are re-releasing the film in sing-along form. 

We all know that any time somebody says the words "Let it go," we are melodically transplanted into Arendelle. We get it.

But do we really? 

Disney once again made a masterpiece with Frozen's score and songs. Why is this music SO transporting to us? 

The score is full of sounds recorded straight from traditional Nordic instruments. The introductory choral celebration is recorded by Cantus, an all-female Norwegian ensemble, and the piece itself is inspired by traditional Scandinavian folk music. A very traditional vocal technique from Sweden called "Kulning" is featured in many of the score numbers. In case you're at all curious, check this out here . 

In short, these songs are AUTHENTIC. To a degree that this music strikes us American listeners as exotic, foreign, and very, very intriguing! 

         2. The Star

Let's not forget to mention the star. Idina Menzel has long been my favorite musical theatre actress since debuting the role of Maureen in Rent. I could write a book on how much I love her voice. 

I didn't know much about the movie Frozen when I first went to the theater. I hadn't researched who was in the cast, or even what the story was going to be. But when I heard those first notes out of Elsa's mouth, I nearly cried. 

Disney picked IDINA!!! Praise the Lord. 

This is all I can say. Idina makes the movie. Her vocal ability shines clearly from the soundtrack like a beacon of hope for all future Disney endeavors. Kristen Bell... Mandy Moore... ok. But in Idina Disney found a true and experienced vocalist. 

The voice truly makes all the difference. 

           3. The Beauty

Disney outdid themselves with this one.

Scandinavian fjords are some of the most beautiful locations on this planet, incorporating beautiful waters, mountains, and skies. Personally on my bucket list is a tour of some of these beautiful places. Even seeing the location in animated form nearly gave me chills.

In case you're curious again about the authenticity of Disney's portrayal, check this out.

Yes, it really IS that beautiful over there. Maybe I'll get to make a trip up to Norway during my study abroad next fall? :)

Also notable is the beauty of the characters themselves! Elsa and Anna are both of course very beautifully animated, with incredibly detailed eyes, faces, hair, and costumes.

Pause on the hair aspect for a moment. Go to youtube and feast your eyes on the vast infinity that is "Frozen hair tutorials." I include myself in this obsession! Some of my inspired designs below.

Disney gave us animated beauty that is so real, we long to see it in the real world.

          4. The Moral

In case nobody noticed, being so far baffled visually and aurally by the gorgeous work of art that is Frozen, the film actually has a very profound moral.

And no, I am NOT talking about Elsa's (and Disney's) conviction that "You cannot marry a man you just met." Cue an eye roll toward all the victorious memes out there.

The profound lesson that I paid close attention to, especially the second time around, was the contrast between Fear and Love. Yes, that is the final realization that saves the day.

However, I find way more interesting the fact that Anna and Elsa throughout the film embody these two traits. They speak them into reality. They each live their conviction toward one or the other, and yet... neither of them quite understands consciously what force is ruling their everyday existence.

This struck home for me, as I contemplated what might be the driving force behind my life (that I might not even notice). I won't go into it here, but this was a great springboard for some super introspective journaling.

What inspires YOU to act? To take risks? What drives you to run away, and what drives you to run toward your goals?

Elsa and Anna helped me realize the importance of having a loving understanding of your whole self-- including all your limitations, weaknesses, and triumphs. Only then can you begin to truly understand the reasoning behind your biggest decisions... and only then will you have the power to change them for the better.

Peeking Into My Art Journal

Yesterday evening, I realized  an unbelievable fact. I had before me a completely free evening. No plans with friends, no night classes, no rehearsals, no homework, no obligations... How in heaven's name did I come by this treasure on a Thursday of all days?

I am still baffled.

In any case, I journaled about my sheer excitement over having my first ounce of "free time." Why is this a big deal, you ask? I'll tell you. Because people always ask me the typical 'What do you do with your free time' question, and I always laugh and reply ironically that I don't have any.

I can finally answer that question in a positive way!!! That night, I had before me three completely free hours with which to pursue whatever activity my heart desired.

I spent a long twenty minutes just contemplating what I would most like to do. Should I take a long bubble bath? (BAD IDEA with a halfway-working water heater that ended up producing the most disappointingly lukewarm bubble bath I have ever experienced.) Should I spend the time reading my lovely Anne of Green Gables, which I have been so enjoying? Should I blog? Should I play Final Fantasy X on my Playstation 2? The list goes on. You can see why this took me twenty minutes.

I finally decided to spend the evening in creativity, with my Art Journal. If you've never heard of Art Journaling, check out an explanatory article here. Or, just google it. I dare you. :)

One of my favorite art journal pages from the past 

Thursday night, I spent all of that time art journaling. Messing around with pen, doodles, watercolors, and words... basically just expressing the creativity within me in whichever ways it decided to present itself.

Why do I love art journaling? A list.

• It takes a significantly short amount of time to create a beautifully "complete" artwork-- perfect for my busy schedule!
• It's the perfect short-term outlet for daily creative work.
• Inside my art journal, it's perfectly alright to experiment with colors and techniques. There is no such thing as "messing up."
• I love looking back on all my pages and seeing the incredible variety.
• It is an art form that includes one of my other favorite personal disciplines of all time-- journaling!
• In short, Art Journaling is FUN!

A Zentangle, start to finish!

I also love Art Journaling because it gives me an opportunity to create side-by-side with those I love.

Sawyer and I frequently have Art Journal "parties"-- don't even get me started on how inspiring it is to see her creativity explode in her pages. I've always admired her eye for color, shape, and the profound meaning she gives to all her work. Just one example of how Art Journaling can bring people together, in a deep way!

I'm not sure that I could as easily sketch or paint a canvas with a friend... I would be much too focused on making the perfect piece of art.

That's not what this is about.

Art Journaling is one of many ways in which I am learning to be the keeper of my own flame. And fulfilling that purpose, friends, is exactly what I choose to do with my free time.


In case you're interested,

Some of my favorite Art Journaling links:
Absolutely gorgeous zentangle/watercolor inspiration from Alisa Burke
One of my favorite Pinboards featuring Art Journaling techniques-- Colleen Sullivan-Blake
A creative "art journal prompts" list-- BlacksburgBelle.com

Enjoy creating!