If I could only sing one word for the rest of my life, what would it be?
"Alleluia."
Just try it. Say it out loud. Sing it high, sing it low!
Savor the vowels, the flow of the syllables, the upward-feeling release.
I spent at least twenty solid minutes today singing that word (on notes penned by the great J. S. Bach), and had plenty of time to think about its merit while our conductor was busy seeing to the tenors.
"Alleluia."
Whisper it. It even sounds wonderful as a secret!
I also happen to adore the meaning of the word. It's an exclamation, a joyous rousing cry that means "God be praised!"
I love that we say this word on the daily. We hear this word on the ever-present TV, in movies, and on the radio. We use it flippantly and jokingly... but we still use it!
Sitting in rehearsal today, I decided that if I were a composer, I would compose a whole set of songs using just this word.
I am apparently not the only one who has had this idea! Here are a couple of wonderfully beautiful pieces that use this word as their only text:
Eric Whitacre's Alleluia-- (a vocal arrangement of my favorite of his works, "October")
Last weekend I crossed a huge item off of my college bucket list: giving a collegiate-level recital!
My degree doesn't require that I give a recital, and most of my colleagues choose not to. I completely understand why-- it's a LOT of work! Yet, I am so unbelievably happy by the outcome of this huge undertaking.
I am proud of myself for taking a challenge in life set by me alone. I am proud that the most difficult and fulfilling work I will have done this year didn't stem from a degree plan or an advisor's deadline. I am so thankful that I will be able to look back on this wonderful experience and know that I did this for my own fulfillment, and not because I sought to achieve a perfect grade. In fact, no one was grading me at all.
For someone obsessively driven by the pull of academic success, it was completely liberating.
I provided a program of music that was intentionally full of variety, and every piece is a personal favorite of mine. In short, after the countless hours spent in the practice room and the lesson studio, I poured my heart and soul into this music.
After a few days of basking in the emotional high of an amazing performance, I paused to reflect on this milestone experience.
A few snippets of thought:
How it felt to look out at the audience before me and realize that they were not judging strangers-- they were faces of my dearest friends and family. My most loving and enthusiastic supporters.
Secretly performing a work in honor of a dear friend and teacher who recently passed away-- sending the sound straight up to her heavenly dwelling.
The electrified silence as the music of the great composers provided precious bits of musical rest, and the audience held their breath.
Surprise at the effort it takes to shift emotions drastically back and forth over the course of a single hour.
Hearing from listeners that my music touched their hearts, brought them to tears, or gave them inspiration-- feeling a strong connection to my purpose in life.
The sheer joy of finally having a voice to sing with after weeks of illness.
How surprising the little never-before-heard mistakes and mishaps that make a live performance truly "alive."
The music of my own two hands bringing tears to my eyes.
It is my sincerest hope that those in attendance (and you, should you choose to watch the video below) felt the music as deeply as I attempted to convey it.
PROGRAM:
Prelude and Fugue XVI in G Minor, BWV 861----------------J. S. Bach
Wie Melodien zieht es mir---------------------------------------Johannes Brahms
Spring break has come and gone, and with it a score of beautiful moments.
One of my favorite things about life in general is getting to visit my Granny and her land in Bowie, TX. I try to visit several times a year. Being out there makes me feel whole again. As my best friend Bethany once told me, "time just moves slower out there."
Out on Granny's farm, there are no noisy neighbors. There are no buses, cars, and definitely no Harleys.
Instead, there are bird songs, the rush of wind in ancient oak branches, gently rattling leaves, and the faint bell tones of wind chimes.
Out there in the middle of nowhere, I can finally rest-- in the truest way possible. I get my very best sleep out there in that country home. And, it doesn't hurt that my Granny is the best cook on the planet. Oren came with me this trip, and I can assure you: we were VERY well fed.
One of my favorite things about being out at Granny's is getting to wander around her land on foot. I call it hiking... more adventurous souls would consider it walking. The land is a bit flat at times. But I think it's the most beautiful spot of land in the world.
This time, when Oren and I went walking, we took a long way round the oil pads and happened upon a miracle.
Backstory:
Bethany and I used to wander the pastures for hours, all the time. We found a tree that was simply the most beautiful tree on the whole place, and we named her Old Anna. Our plan was to build a tree house in her lower branches... but we sadly never got there. When the oil company moved in and carved out their slabs of gravel, we believed Old Anna to be lost. We never found her again.
Anyway. Oren and I took a back way around the pasture, and happened on a path that hadn't been driven on in quite some time. The truck tracks were faint, and the bushes and trees had encroached a bit on the pathway. Animal tracks abounded.
Yet, I knew this path like the back of my hand. This sandy road came straight from Old Anna! My heart remembered it so strongly.
I broke into a run, speeding up to the place where I knew in my heart she should stand.
And, there she was.
An ancient old oak tree, standing tall and proud in a clearing, away from all other trees. Surrounded by currently-fried monkey grass fronds, standing almost like subjects before their queen.
My excitement was uncontrollable! I of course had Oren take a million pictures of me with Old Anna that I could show to Bethany later that day, and I lived the joy of our discovery all week.
There's just something wonderful about old, huge trees.
Something special happens when you recover an old friend that you believed to be lost.
Trees are sanctuaries. Whoever knows how to speak to them, whoever knows how to listen to them, can learn the truth. They do not preach learning and precepts, they preach, undeterred by particulars, the ancient law of life. - Hermann Hesse
Lent is fast approaching, and yet again I am assaulted with the pressing question: "What are you giving up this year?"
Pause and rewind here. What is Lent, you ask?
In many Protestant Christian denominations, Lent is celebrated as a 40-day period of fasting between Ash Wednesday and Easter. It's a season that helps us reconnect spiritually in preparation for the celebration of Easter, through giving our time to a cause, going without specific foods in a literal fast, or simply devoting ourselves to a spiritual discipline. If you'd like to know more about Lent as celebrated in various churches, go ahead and google it! There's plenty of interesting information out there.
Lent is a tradition that for me goes far back into my childhood!
My mother and granny always gave up sweets/chocolate, with the exception of birthday cake (of course!). I always remember competing with my best friend Bethany to see who was giving up the "biggest" thing-- she normally always won.
Disclaimer: Lent is a personal discipline that is not meant to be a competition!
Tell that to a seven-year-old...
Young Mandi always chose to give up Dr. Pepper. Older Mandi consistently gave up Facebook each year. First year college student Mandi decided to give up all beef for Lent (which ended VERY badly, as beef is my all-time favorite food. Let's just say, I was turned into a consistently angry monster by Easter).
The Top 100 Things Twitterers gave up for Lent in 2009
This year, I am looking at Lent with new eyes. Recently I have been very into the idea of honoring tradition and ritual in my everyday life as part of pursuing joyful living. I have realized slowly but surely that I long to live a life steeped in things that are sacred.
Especially in a culture where little to nothing is kept holy-- not our forests, our families, our vows, our beliefs, our creativity, our art, our own souls-- my heart yearns for a life of reverence for all things beautiful, living, and holy.
This Lenten season, I have decided to not "give up" anything in particular. Instead, I have made the decision to enhance a sense of holiness in my life. I have a few ideas for what this might mean for me:
A dedicated and renewed effort to have personal quiet time in the morning for meditation, journaling, reflection, study, and prayer. (This requires actually getting out of bed instead of hitting the snooze...)
Creating more of a respectful and ritual-based relationship with the physical symbols of holiness in my life. For me, this might mean ritually washing my hands before opening my Bible, creating a special altar or resting place for the scriptures, or designating a prayer corner.
A new dedication to living life with intention, being present and engaged in each moment.
Lent is a wonderful time for me to realize what my soul needs spiritually; recognizing that need and fulfilling it through dedicated choices is part of my journey toward being the keeper of my own flame.
I hope all of you have a fulfilling and meaningful Lenten season, whether you chose to celebrate it or not!
“To the poet, to the philosopher, to the saint, all things are friendly and sacred, all events profitable, all days holy, all men divine.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
