My Happy Place

Welcome to my happy place!

Forgive me, it looks a little alive right now.

I won't stoop to the level of custom landscapers. I won't tame this untouched magnificence.

Forgive me if I won't TELL you where it is... but let me show you! You'll understand why I fell in love.

I stumbled upon this beautiful clearing one day when I was out for a run. I was searching for a little space to wind down and do some journaling... and the rest is history.

Now, I frequent this little place.

I love watching my happy place change with the seasons!

Sometimes, the clearing isn't very welcoming-- even for me. Little biting insects, towering grasses, and prickly briars keep me away. It's almost there right now. But here, in this moment, we are in liminal space.

In this moment, the clearing is just scruffy enough to look alive again after the harsh winter we completed. The space is vibrant with bright green budding leaves. The ground cover grows taller by the day, as we receive bountiful spring rains. The trees still look a little bare, with their leaves just budding out.

If I could go here daily, I would.

Heck, if I could LIVE here, I would.

This clearing has blessed me with so many beautiful moments.

I once spent a whole morning fascinated with minuscule dew drops that glistened on every single blade of grass.

In this place, I saw my first ever hummingbird's nest-- and its conscientious caretaker.

Here I grow in my adoration of nature. I grow closer to understanding my inner self. I learn how to be.

“Nature's first green is gold,

Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf's a flower;

But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf.

So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay.” 

― Robert Frost

Sunrise

"He is not here; he has risen! "

Easter morning comes joyously out of a beautiful sunset and a yearning darkness.

This has been quite the eventful Lenten season for me!

I began with a quest to rediscover the holiness of life through small daily rituals. You can read about my goals here! 

I found much success in creating a holy morning quiet time, but it took a while for me to learn how to actually get up in the morning. You may laugh all you want, but honestly the thing that finally did the trick was practicing! Not at bedtime, I got all ready in bed, set an alarm for five minutes.. and I practiced what I would do each time my alarm went off! It really worked. 6am rolled around and I sat straight up in bed and got on with my life. Practice makes perfect.

As far as little daily rituals go, I created a beautifully simple altar on top of my bookshelf onto which I placed a royally purple scarf and symbols of purity. I enjoyed creating this little space! I also made a distinct effort to wash my hands before going to read scripture-- while I washed, I said a little prayer of cleansing. I also kept a ribbon neatly tied around my Bible, so that every time I went to open it, I "unwrapped" the book. I thought to myself a little word of thanks for such a beautiful divine gift. 

This week leading up to Easter, I have been engaging in a Week of Prayer on my own. I chose to pray 2-3 times a day for about 10 minutes at a time, and I kept a prayer journal of what I prayed for and what I received as an answer.

It's amazing how many prayers get answered when you actually pray them!!!

This week alone, my eyes have been opened to so many blessings. I have consciously altered behaviors that before I just admonished myself for. I witnessed more goodness in others than I usually see. And, so many little details of my life that were up in the air fell right into place this week. 

This is not to say that if I had prayed for these things months ago, they would have happened simply because I asked. I'm not sure how God works all the time, but that just doesn't seem logical to me. 

However, I DO know that when I ask for something, I am far more aware and grateful when I receive it. I am far less likely to attribute anything to mere coincidence. 

When I live a week in prayer, I automatically become more present. I live more joyfully into each moment. I relish the smaller events in life. 

During this season, I have experienced my share of darkness. I have also experienced beautiful moments of pure, beautiful, and holy light. 

On Easter, we remember that light ultimately DOES counter the darkness, once and for all. I love celebrating this victory. 

I also love the chance to sing a few more "Alleluias."

I hope you have a very blessed Easter!

"I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know that prayer changes us and we change things.” --Mother Teresa

Copycat

A master teacher once told me, "Every good idea I ever had, I stole." As I begin my own foray into the profession, I have realized how true that statement really is!

I also realize how truly that statement applies to my life journey.

In recent years, I have been gleaning bits of wisdom from those close to me. I have absorbed their strongest traits and taken my highest inspiration from seeing my friends and family live their own unique, individual, beautiful lives.

I constantly find myself saying: "I LOVE that about them! I want to be like that. I should DO that."

"Triumph Tulip: Grand Perfection"

Some examples from recent days:

Like Mary, I want to carry a pack of 100+ markers so that I am always prepared and able to create art and add color to my daily world.

Like Bethany, I want to be beautifully and uniquely put together for all the important events in my life.

Like Oren, I want to have a contagious enthusiasm for life. And, I'd love to be awesome at video games.

Like my Granny, I want to have a stocked freezer-- just in case.

Like Sawyer, I want to have big dreams.

Like Holly, I want to make the big decisions that lead me directly on the path to those big dreams.

Like Emily, I want to appreciate and live in the simple pleasures of life.

Like Isaiah, I want to spend hours listening to and pouring over musical scores, so that I can learn as much as my head can possibly hold while at this school of music.

Like Daniel, I want to be dedicated to my instruments and practice for hours.

Like Allee, I want to take care of my body in every possible way-- particularly by eating perfectly balanced meals.

The list (literally) goes on and on. 

Some things I HAVE indeed taken into my own life. I do have a stocked freezer. I curl my hair way more often because my best friend does so. I established a prayer corner in my room because a friend once did. I am on a constant struggle-bus path to improving my video game skills because of the influence of my second family.

In my eyes, these "wants" are positive! I want to emulate these things because I admire them so much in others.

The whole time, though, I am just painting a picture of the Mandi that I want to see when I look in the mirror.

I am creating the mental portrait of the "perfect" Mandi, who does EVERYTHING and succeeds everywhere in every single possible avenue of life.

Sometimes I forget how special the real Mandi really is!

I forget to realize that to other people around me, I am sometimes the special one. I am sometimes the one with the characteristics that somebody else admires and wants to copy. The real Mandi sometimes has characteristics that nobody else does-- just like all of my friends do in my eyes!

It took me a minute, but I figured out some things that make the real Mandi very special. Thinking about them gave me a warm glow, somewhere deep inside.

As much as I love to dream that I can be like a conglomeration of the best aspects of the best people in my life... I create this drive inside me to be constantly improving. Constantly leveling-up, so that I can become what I admire as quickly as possible.

Really, what I am doing is neglecting the beauty that I have right now.

It's so nice to take a moment and realize all the ways that I am unique, and that I am NOT like someone else.

Loving yourself is a long and complicated journey-- but moments like this are a fantastic step in the right direction!

"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."    -Margaret Mead