I also realize how truly that statement applies to my life journey.
In recent years, I have been gleaning bits of wisdom from those close to me. I have absorbed their strongest traits and taken my highest inspiration from seeing my friends and family live their own unique, individual, beautiful lives.
I constantly find myself saying: "I LOVE that about them! I want to be like that. I should DO that."
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| "Triumph Tulip: Grand Perfection" |
Some examples from recent days:
Like Mary, I want to carry a pack of 100+ markers so that I am always prepared and able to create art and add color to my daily world.
Like Bethany, I want to be beautifully and uniquely put together for all the important events in my life.
Like Oren, I want to have a contagious enthusiasm for life. And, I'd love to be awesome at video games.
Like my Granny, I want to have a stocked freezer-- just in case.
Like Sawyer, I want to have big dreams.
Like Holly, I want to make the big decisions that lead me directly on the path to those big dreams.
Like Emily, I want to appreciate and live in the simple pleasures of life.
Like Isaiah, I want to spend hours listening to and pouring over musical scores, so that I can learn as much as my head can possibly hold while at this school of music.
Like Daniel, I want to be dedicated to my instruments and practice for hours.
Like Allee, I want to take care of my body in every possible way-- particularly by eating perfectly balanced meals.
The list (literally) goes on and on.
Some things I HAVE indeed taken into my own life. I do have a stocked freezer. I curl my hair way more often because my best friend does so. I established a prayer corner in my room because a friend once did. I am on a constant struggle-bus path to improving my video game skills because of the influence of my second family.
In my eyes, these "wants" are positive! I want to emulate these things because I admire them so much in others.
The whole time, though, I am just painting a picture of the Mandi that I want to see when I look in the mirror.
I am creating the mental portrait of the "perfect" Mandi, who does EVERYTHING and succeeds everywhere in every single possible avenue of life.
Sometimes I forget how special the real Mandi really is!
I forget to realize that to other people around me, I am sometimes the special one. I am sometimes the one with the characteristics that somebody else admires and wants to copy. The real Mandi sometimes has characteristics that nobody else does-- just like all of my friends do in my eyes!
It took me a minute, but I figured out some things that make the real Mandi very special. Thinking about them gave me a warm glow, somewhere deep inside.
As much as I love to dream that I can be like a conglomeration of the best aspects of the best people in my life... I create this drive inside me to be constantly improving. Constantly leveling-up, so that I can become what I admire as quickly as possible.
Really, what I am doing is neglecting the beauty that I have right now.
It's so nice to take a moment and realize all the ways that I am unique, and that I am NOT like someone else.
Loving yourself is a long and complicated journey-- but moments like this are a fantastic step in the right direction!
This post was really beautiful--I especially loved your concluding thoughts. In a world where everyone seems to be constantly self-improving, it's easy to lose sight of what makes each of us truly unique and valuable in our own way.
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